Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Leaders? Part II

This is an article that I wrote for World Shapers Ministry. You can check out their website here. I have reprinted this article in agreement with their requirements. You can find where I reprinted Part I here.

Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Leaders? Part II

In Part I of this article we discussed steps to avoid having your children develop as leaders. In Part II we will consider the biblical mandate to encourage leadership characteristics in your children.

The world would have you keep your child in a mindset of childhood long after it is suitable. I Corinthians 13:11 (AMP) tells us that “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.”

Unless you plan on heaping adult thoughts and responsibilities on your child on their 18th birthday you might consider easing them into this way of life even today.

Consider the following suggestions:

Decision-Making - Let them be a witness to Godly decision-making and priority ranking. Children will not simply know how to honor God with their time and treasure. They must learn it from being submerged in it as their lifestyle.

Gifts & Abilities - Romans 12:6 says that “We all have gifts and they differ…” Your child is not just another brick in the wall. They are a unique and distinct part of God’s plan with unique and distinct gifts given by their Father to fulfill His wishes. Train the child according to their bent, according to their skills and giftings, and you will encourage them to seek God’s will over their own. He knows best what is desired from your son or daughter. Teach them how to focus on His best for them by learning the talents that He deposited in them.

Responsibility - Giving them opportunities to build trust and gain responsibility will teach them to be faithful with little. Servant attitude in their daily chores/responsibilities show them how we are daily to serve others with a spirit of excellence. Love in all activities will teach honorable actions when they are to choose on their own how to behave toward their spouse and children. If they never have anything to do at home, not only will they not feel a valuable part of the family, but they will have nothing to offer as far as servanthood outside of the home.

Commitments - Don’t be a thief. Be prompt. If you believe that God has led you to make a commitment to something then you are gathering in His name. You wouldn’t show up late if you really thought Jesus was there waiting, would you?

Authority - Respect, honor and obey your authorities. If you want your children to rebel against you then you should model rebellion in the way you speak about your boss, your pastor, your parents or your children’s teachers. Hold everything up to the Bible but don’t be disrespectful in your attitude. If you leave your child in someone’s care then you have chosen that person to carry authority. Honor it.

Priorities -The 12 tribes of Israel lived in locations assigned around the tabernacle. Their lives revolved around God. He is our center. If we make Him second or third so that our children can look more like a well-rounded child of this world then we are robbing them of the opportunity to live a God-centered life. When they hear you model decision-making that puts God at a lower priority than anything else you are insuring that they follow in those steps as they make their own decisions.

Prayer - Your children need to hear you pray so that they can rejoice with you and stretch their faith with yours. If you come together in agreement with your children it shows them that they are integral and effective in moving the heart of God.

The Bible - God’s word never returns void. It will always achieve its purpose. When you immerse your children in a living, breathing Word-saturated atmosphere they will thrive and the enemy will have no defense.

Civic Responsibility - God’s people are to be active in this world just as God is. Though we are strangers in this world we are also called to be salt to a dying world. We are to “cure” the rottenness of the world by involving ourselves and our God in everyday affairs.

Roles - Seek God’s will for your family dynamics. This holds true for families with one parent or two. A woman can only be a great mother. She can never even be a mediocre father. The same concept holds true for men. When mothers are great mothers and fathers are godly fathers then the Lord is glorified and the home is at peace. The value of our different roles should be cherished and stressed as glorifying our Lord with everything that we choose to do and NOT to do.

Friends - Direct their paths toward righteous choices by asking questions. The Holy Spirit will spark their hearts toward the right answers for friends and friendly activities. If you see your child with an influence that boldly or subtly changes who your child is in Jesus then strengthen their walk by discussing their changing attitudes and remind them that the Rock on which we stand never wavers.

Service - Allow them to serve in and out of the church with you. One of my young friends told me her definition of a leader. She says that, “Leaders are servants who help others even when they don’t feel like it.” Let your kids live in this Christian life that you profess. Don’t just let them hear you talk it. Let them walk it with you.

Beth Klongpayabal
www.wsmworldshapersministry.org
Klongpayabal@wsmworldshapersministry.org

Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Leaders? Part I

This is an article that I wrote for World Shapers Ministry. You can check out their website here. I have reprinted this article in agreement with their requirements. I will be reprinting Part II in the days to come.

Mommas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Leaders? Part I

Being a leader is about influencing people. In Mark 16:15 Christians are called to go into all the world and share the good news with everyone. This would definitely influence people. This should, at the very least, leave a distinguishing effect on our schools, communities, and places of employment. Christians are called to be leaders. Even though this is understood, there is no scripture that defines the exact age at which we are called to be a leader to those in our sphere of influence.

If you believe that leadership is too much pressure to place on your child then I suggest you follow these easy steps to avoid having your children develop as leaders:

Decision-Making - Don’t burden children with decision making. It will just make them grow up too fast. They’ll have to learn soon enough when they start to earn a living and have to make their own choices of how to spend their time.

Gifts & Abilities - Don’t hurt their self-esteem with skill or gifting assessment. We’re all winners. Tell them they are gifted at everything they try even when it’s not really true at all. This way they will not really know what they’re good at and they won’t have the added pressure developing in one direction.

Responsibility – Teach you children to take responsibility by having them clean their room. Make sure that you remind them every day to do this and do it for them if you have to. This way they will learn that someone has to take responsibility.

Commitments - Make judgments based on how you feel moment by moment. Allow them to break commitments and be late when something comes up.

Authority - Question everything. Make sure your child understands that they do not have to obey their teachers or coaches if they think that you might allow the child to do something differently. It’s best to always believe your child over anyone else without question.

Priorities - Keep the kids well-rounded. Carve out prime chunks of time for friends, school, work, sports and arts. Enroll them in every conceivable class because they’ll make loads of friends. An overly full schedule means you are involved and much more important.

Prayer - Pray in private. Bedtime and mealtime prayers will suffice for now. Children just don’t have the patience for long adult prayers they don’t understand.

The Bible - Keep them in their child storybook as long as possible. They just won’t understand the real Bible.

Civic Responsibility - Separation of church and state isn’t just for politics. Don’t mix God with current events.

Roles -Men and women do whatever works best for your family as far as gender roles and responsibilities. The roles established in the Bible were for a different time and place.

Friends - Don’t interfere with their friendships. They need to learn to choose their own friends and deal with their own problems.

Service - Make sure to tell the children when you serve the Lord so that they will know that you are doing good.

If you have been challenged by these comments I encourage you to read the second part of this article. We will look at a path which will ask much of the parent and produce much in the child.

Beth Klongpayabal
www.wsmworldshapersministry.org
Klongpayabal@wsmworldshapersministry.org

Perspective

I was recently inspired by a friend (thanks, Rea) to consider the time I spend with my children making them feel like the blessings they are. I want my children to feel loved and valued as individuals. I want them to be secure in who they are and the love my husband and I have for each of them.

As much as I endorse this concept, it is difficult to make a reality in day-to-day interactions. There are so many interruptions and distractions from this grand undertaking that it almost seems impossible. I am often overwhelmed by the mucous-covered, dirty body parts and the bickering and the little screechy voices…It just makes me want to give up some days.

But I am not to grow weary doing good. And so I find the joy of the Lord to be my strength in this mission. He loves my kids more than I do. Surely, He’ll be willing to help me show how much I care in a way that is meaningful to their little hearts.

I have found that it is the joy of little moments with these precious people that adds up to a tremendous atmosphere of love in my heart. If I can focus and live in each moment as they come, this dismantles the lie that it’s too hard to love each kid the way they need to be loved. And we all grow closer together and stronger in our bonds. This makes tomorrow’s challenges just a minor puddle to hop over instead of a waterfall to cross.

Today was a good day for our bonds to grow. My oldest son and I shared a private joke with each other over a dozen times throughout the day. And we both thought it was funny the thirteenth time. I made a yummy, over-the-top dessert with my daughter beside me helping with each step. Our family worked on a huge project together to prepare some animal bones and skulls for display (very stinky work, but we did it together). My husband chuckled and encouraged our youngest son to make giggly, piggy faces against the mesh walls of his play yard. I was able to cuddle with our 5 year old son as he explained to me all the cool features of his favorite video game. My husband and I taught our oldest son to play Yahtzee tonight.

I know that these don’t really sound like monumental or important moments. But they were huge to me. I am not promised tomorrow. So what a joy it is to relish my blessings today!

All of us can brush off opportunities now and then to seize the moment with our children. But I need to overhaul my thinking so that I see my days as abundant in blessings instead of loaded with bothersome irritations.

Here are some reminders to me to keep my perspective in line with reality:

• My children are not interrupting my housework. They are the reason I came home.

• My children are not ruining my perfect school lesson plans. They are teaching me every day.

• My children are not crowding out my dreams. They are giving me a legacy.

• My children are not a nuisance or an annoyance. They remind me of God’s goodness and patience.

• My children are not sent to punish me or make my life hard. They are sent to help me think of others as greater than myself.

• My children are not insignificant or unimportant because of their youth. They are blessings with a spirit and a soul that need to be directed to God.

Leave me a comment below to let me know how the Lord has allowed you to take advantage of moments with your kids. How do you keep your perspective in line with God’s truth about your children? Is there something perhaps that you can suggest to frustrated young mothers who want to avoid seeing their children as a burden or a bother when the days are long and the children are under your feet?

Thanks for reading. I look forward to your comments.

Communicating in Thirds

In my quiet time this morning I was led to these notes in my study Bible:

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From The Woman’s Study Bible New King James Version

Communication: Exchanging Ideas

Communication is the exchange of ideas and information by talk, gestures, or writing. It is an active process present in all meaningful relationships. Communication is not talking but also listening, looking, and feeling. Though individuals have different communication styles, spiritually mature believers are to seek continually to improve their communication with other people and with God.

Speech is powerful. The spoken word can either encourage or discourage. Scripture teaches believers to control the tongue (James 3:1-12) and speak only words of kindness (Ephesians 4:29, 32). The Book of Proverbs discusses the importance of listening with understanding to others who speak (Proverbs 11:12; 18:2; 29:20).

Words alone cannot fully express meaning. Body language, facial expression, tone of voice, and other means of nonverbal communication are essentials for effectiveness. Those who study communication patterns have concluded that two-thirds of the intent of a message is communicated non-verbally, while only one-third of the message is communicated through words.

Obviously, communication is more than conveying information. Women especially use communication to express feelings more than facts, to establish rapport more than to give a report.

Paul underscores the significance of communication and gives advice on verbal behavior (Ephesians 4:25-32). Christians are to:

• speak the truth in love (v. 15, 25),
• control angry words (v. 26),
• speak words of encouragement and healing (v. 29),
• avoid unkind or bitter speech (v. 29),
• speak words of forgiveness (v. 32).

Mature believers realize that clear, loving communication is important in conveying the message of salvation effectively.

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This led me to consider how only one-third of my message was coming across in my conversations throughout the day. We all know that so much is lost when you talk on the phone. Gestures and facial expressions are invisible. Even more is missing from the written words we share online. When we read something on a computer screen instead of having a live conversation, vocal inflection and stresses are lost. How does this affect our intended message?

I am not always clear in what I write. I do not always take the time to measure my words to make sure that they consistently encourage others. I can fall into negative speech that is not profitable for anyone. What a waste of words that is.

I find this dilemma to be multiplied when I am attempting to communicate by typing in real time. Chat rooms and instant messaging systems add urgency and remove some of the luxury of being able to choose your words carefully when putting your thoughts in writing. I find myself getting caught up in conversations that are not profitable for building up others or possibly being so silly that my message is completely lost in foolishness. I recognize that this is not glorifying to God.

It is at these times that it is best for me to step away from the keyboard and remember that it was my Creator who gave me the ability to speak and reason in words. Since all of my words are from Him shouldn't all of my words point to Him? I do not mean that we should only speak theology and eschatology and all-kinds-of-ologies. But shouldn't I always be mindful that I represent Christ in my attitudes, word choice and manner of speech?

We as believers are called be diligent to use our words (verbal or written) to “impart grace to the hearers.” Would you label your words as encouraging, healing, loving, kind, forgiving and full of grace? I challenge each of you to ponder these thoughts as we improve our communication with God and with each other.

Please leave a comment below to share with me your thoughts and wisdom on communicating effectively online. I look forward to learning more on this subject through your comments and insights.

We All Have Gifts

Romans 12:6-8 NIRV

We all have gifts. They differ in keeping with the grace that God has given each of us. Do you have the gift of prophecy? Then use it in keeping with the faith you have. Is it your gift to serve? Then serve. Is it teaching? Then teach. Is it telling others how they should live? Then tell them. Is it giving to those who are in need? Then give freely. Is it being a leader? Then work hard at it. Is it showing mercy? Then do it cheerfully.

I love the New International Reader's Version of this scripture because it is the translation my oldest son memorized when he worked through Romans 12. I can still hear his voice reciting these powerful phrases. He is definitely a talented speaker who is passionate and enjoys talking to people.

All children have talents and abilities that make them special. Some are exceptional artists and others have a quick mind for puzzles, some gravitate toward building things and others are gifted at math. Even better than talents they might possess, if they have repented and put their trust in Jesus, they also have at least one of the spiritual gifts listed in Romans 12. But how do we know which gifts each child should be developing? How can parents encourage their children to use their gifts to benefit the church?

I found this great blog post that helped me in my thinking about this topic. It even features a Spiritual Gifts Survey for Kids that I can't wait to give to my oldest son.

Let me know how you have discovered your children's spiritual gifts. Please leave a comment below.

Critical Spirit

It is bittersweet to end my Bible study, Draw Me Near by Nancy Douglas. God has taught me more than I could have dreamed was possible from one 10-week study. He really means it when He promises to give us good things when we ask. (Luke 11:9-10)

Now the Lord is moving on to His next great work in me. I am beginning to study about having a critical spirit. I am interested in God's view of our critical spirit, the lies that cultivate a critical spirit, healing a critical spirit and operating in wholeness after a critical spirit. God has opened my eyes to many biblical examples and several ministries' views about the subject.

Do you know someone that operates in a critical spirit? In what circumstances have you found that you are unlovingly critical of others? What Bible passages have helped you heal this attitude? Have you been hurt by a critical spirit? How did you approach the offender in love? Is there a published Bible study that has helped you understand critical attitudes in God's people? Please post a comment below or e-mail me at heartstirredwithwisdom@gmail.com. I hope that God's wisdom in you can help me further my study in this area.

Attitude of Gratitude

Recently my 10 month old baby boy woke up from his afternoon nap about 30 minutes early. My immediate thoughts were of the basket of laundry that had not been put away yet and the school lesson I still had to complete with my 5 year old son. But the Lord quickly reminded me to focus on gratefulness instead of all the plans and activities my baby had “ruined.” I was moved to be thankful for his waking because some children do not wake from their afternoon naps early. They do not wake from them at all. This thought led to a flood of gratitude in my heart for the many benefits the Lord has heaped on me and my family. They are too numerous to list but they lifted my heart and left me singing as I greeted the baby in his crib. My attitude of gratefulness transformed my day to one of profound joy and peace instead of a pile of disappointment and self-pity.

Please share with me what are you grateful for?

Colossians 3:12-17

12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

If you would like further study on gratitude please read this wonderful series of radio broadcasts by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.